Hypnosis: A Thanksgiving Miracle
The time I hypnotized my neighbor's niece at their Thanksgiving Party.
She was already halfway under by the time I mentioned that just talking about hypnosis causes hypnosis. Her eyes were focused directly on mine as her eyelids shut, then opened in one fluid swipe. Her breathing became deep and calm to the rhythm of the ocean waves in her mind. I spoke while keeping pace with her inhales and exhales. It was like creating music for the unconscious mind.
I had offered a simple suggestion that her hand would float effortlessly off her knee and touch her cheek as quickly or as slowly as it took for her mind to go into the most wonderful and enjoyable trance she had ever known. Then, her fingers began to twitch as though she had electrodes connected to her elbow, giving her small shocks to her reflexes. Her arm began to rise little by little in tiny jerking motions. It reminded me of small fish tugging on a fishing pole. She gently pulled the imaginary fishing line up towards her face closer and closer until it was just a pinky length away.
I’d offer her another suggestion that as soon as her fingers brush against her cheek (half a pinky away), she would go to sleep (hairs length away) now (we have contact). Her head immediately dropped, and her shoulders drooped. She was falling deep into her unconscious mind, blissfully floating down like a leaf falling from a tree.
It was Thanksgiving, and I was hypnotizing my neighbor’s niece at their Thanksgiving party. A perfect time to dig up demons.
How it Started
Okay, perhaps hypnotizing my neighbor’s niece (whom we will call June) at their Thanksgiving function wasn’t the most appropriate thing to do. This was one of my top manic years that changed me because it was the year I experienced being hypnotized for the first time.
In April of that same year, my friends scored tickets to see a stage hypnotist named Flip Orely at the Laugh Out Loud Comedy Club. It was a nice joint. The main entrance was a lounge with a bar and small tables scattered about. Memories of performing my three-minute sets came flooding back. A bygone era of manic depression and one of the lowest times I’d experienced (more on that another time).
The main room was a small auditorium with a decent size stage and much bigger tables scattered about. There was a good turnout for the show. Seats were filled with people having their drinks as chattering filled the ether. My friends and I found a table towards the back. Everyone was excited and curious, each of us daring to go up on stage. I had already made up my mind the day we got the tickets that I would volunteer. I needed to know what it was like, and I wasn’t sure if I’d have this opportunity again.
Flip finally came out on stage with a backpack and dressed casually in jeans and a button-up shirt with what looked like spiderweb designs stitched on the front. He was tall and sort of lanky with a single earring on his left ear. He looked like someone you’d meet at an Applebee’s on a Friday night, having drinks with a bunch of his old pals from school talking about growing up with 70’s rock music.
The set started out with Flip telling jokes about his life while interjecting what hypnosis is, what to expect, and how volunteers will be selected. In the hypnosis biz, this is called building rapport. After he was done with his first act, he then asked for non-drunk volunteers to come up on stage. A tacit contract that says, “by you coming up on stage, you are agreeing to be hypnotized and do ridiculous things.” Once a good amount of people came up on stage, including myself and one of my closest friends, the hypnotic induction began, and the rest was history.
He made us use our hands as puppets, think we’re on a talk show about aliens, believed he was full-blown naked and made us forget our names. At the very end of the show, he left us with a bit of a gift. A post-hypnotic suggestion is that when we leave the stage, we would feel better than ever, and when we fall asleep, it would be the best sleep we would have. After that show, I had a more positive outlook on life and was focused. It had such a massive impact on me that I just had to learn how to do it.
The Art of Zoning Out
On that Thanksgiving night with June, I wasn’t planning on sending someone into another dimension that only exists within their neuro superhighways. I also wasn’t planning on working through some deeper traumas with June, whom I’ve only met an hour prior.
It wasn’t difficult for her to go into deep hypnosis. After all, we go into a trance all the time without breaking a sweat. Think about it, have you ever driven someplace you’ve been to for the thousandth time and can’t even recall how the hell you got there? Then, perhaps going home from work, about a quarter of a way through, you start to remember your day.
Maybe you zone out thinking about that time you gave an awkward handshake with the company’s vice president. Then, you think about how you came in with your hand out, and he came in for a fist bump. He punches your palm, and you both create a hand peacock. Then, bam! You suddenly snap out of this horrible instant replay and find yourself parking in your driveway.
This doesn’t seem too out of the ordinary, right? You were in a trance, and luckily, your unconscious mind knows how to get you home (yay, you). You can quickly go into this state by reading a book, watching a movie, staring at the clouds, maybe some guided meditation on meeting “your higher self.” Anyway, most of us have been in a trance before.
What’s funny is that sometimes just talking about hypnosis can put you in a trance. It’s like telling new home buyers that the house that they are touring was the site of a grisly murder. It wouldn’t be too surprising that they start saying they are getting a weird vibe from the place or feel that the area is haunted. You unconsciously prepare for unusual things to happen. I suppose you can call this a sort of placebo effect. Although, in a placebo effect, usually treatment is being administered that the patient believes will improve their condition when it’s nothing more than a sugar pill. The patient feels that they are getting better, and at times, they do get better.
One study states for a placebo to work, treatments are delivered in a context. For example, in a doctor’s office, the doctor says they will give you this pill to make you feel better. The doctor is dressed like a doctor, and you see the medication you are about to take. You know that you go to the doctor to feel better (unless you had a traumatic experience with doctors. Please see what a nocebo is).
The context that night was that I stated that I was a hypnotist, I provided my knowledge on the subject, and I explained that we go into a trance all the time. Internally she must have thought, “He seems like he knows what he’s doing. What if he’s going to hypnotize me? Is he doing it now?” At that point, she may have started to think she was feeling the effects of hypnosis reacted the way she thought she should. Feeling drowsy, having a blank stare, looking like a zombie. However, a rando just can’t come up to you, suddenly mention hypnosis, and suddenly you’re hypnotized. There is one other crucial ingredient: rapport.
Rapport, Rapport, Rapport
That night, we spent the hour before talking about our shared interest in psychology and our lives. We connected over having worked for the same dreadful employer. All while we mirrored each other, a skill that most learn unconsciously growing up to fit in, and sometimes we do on purpose to build social rapport.
Most hypnotists agree for a successful session, there must be a good relationship between the hypnotist and the subject. Some consider it the foundation of a robust trance. Without it, saying “Your eyes are getting heavy” will be met with an “Uh, no, it isn’t.” Many of the literature about being a hypnotist states you must build rapport with your subject. One subtle way of building rapport is by mirroring.
They touch your shoulder as they talk to you. You touch theirs when you speak to them. They stand a certain way, and you find yourself mimicking their stature. They laugh at a bad joke, and you laugh along with them. We are social creatures at heart, and we need to fit in. Even proud introverts have an unconscious sense of belonging (don’t kid yourself).
In 1999 two researchers in the Department of Psychology at New York University dubbed this mimicry “The Chameleon Effect” based on Woody Allen’s role in the movie Zelig. They ran experiments in which participants would describe a photo. Unknowing to the participant, the experimenter had been instructed to mirror the participant’s mannerisms. Surprise, surprise, the researchers found that participants highly rated their experimenters more than those who didn’t.
So if you are at an interview, making a new friend, or trying to get in good with the in-laws, give it a shot. You may be surprised by how well it can work.
You will now wake up refreshed, recharged, and questioning your relationships
Once you get someone in a deep trance, you must do something to prove that they were hypnotized. Usually, this involves suggestions like “You may notice your feet become difficult to lift as if they are glued to the ground.” It’s simple, but it makes the situation feel real. In the industry, we call these “convincers.” Next, she tried to lift her leg, but the harder she pulled, the heavier they became. Finally, she laughed as she continued to raise her leg with all her power. It’s a fun experience to go through, believe me.
Remember context? In that stage show, I volunteered, knowing I would do some silly things. The hypnotist had built a rapport with the audience by telling us jokes about his personal life and related to him. I went up on stage, knowing that there would be a possibility that I would be doing some stupid shit. I followed his instructions to the T, and I was transported to the back of my brain, watching everything unfold.
Her aunt came out to tell everyone that the turkey was ready. People started to make their way back inside the house. There was a sudden pressure that I needed to speed things up a bit; otherwise, I would have to awkwardly explain to my neighbor that we were late to eat because I had hypnotized her niece. Instead of telling her to come back to reality, I thought it was a good idea to just help clear out some mental junk.
I had June imagine that she was in an endless hallway full of doors. Each door had its purpose, but we needed to find the control room. Once she found the control room door, she stepped inside to find a metal box on the wall that seemed to be emitting sparks and had loose and tangled wires. Then, a knock on the door. It’s a repairman who had come to fix the box.
At this point, her face began to wince as she shook her head, trying to avoid something invisible. I have not experienced this type of reaction before. Usually, there is a smile or tears from subjects happy to see the metaphorical representation of burdens in their minds being sorted out. But not her. The more I kept advising that the repairman would fix the wires and make everything neat, the more she began to appear that she was resisting.
I knew this wasn’t going to work out too well and said that when I snapped my fingers, the wires would suddenly be in order, and she would wake up refreshed and energized. So I snapped my fingers, and she began to open her eyes slowly. There was an awkward silence for a moment. I was curious about what happened, but I usually do not ask and allow the work to settle.
She came to and said how great the experience was and how at the beginning, she felt as though the people at the party began to sound like the ocean and could only hear my voice. Then, she said how funny it felt when she tried her best to lift her legs. I was happy to hear that she enjoyed that part of the session, but I was dying to know what happened at the end of the session.
I needed to know, and just as I was about to ask, June said, “The only thing was at the last part. I imagined the door, and I saw the box of wires. When you said that a repairman would fix it, I kept imagining this person who reminded me of my father and husband. They were trying to fix this box, but I really didn’t want them to. I wanted to fix it myself. They are always controlling me.”
How it ended
Was I so misogynistic that a repair “man” is coming to fix the box? Two, this session was never meant to be a therapy session. Just a form of entertainment and a small gift of clarity to wrap things up. How could she help but think it was a therapy session? We spoke of psychology and mental health. Whether conscious or not, she couldn’t help but feel this was therapy. I should have done that to establish this session as entertainment or just not do it at all. I had felt guilty for digging up such trauma.
She sat for a bit, then a look of clarity came over her and said, “Wow, I guess I need to deal with some things.” I wasn’t sure if she was trying to be polite or had this profound realization. She told me her dreams. How she wanted to start up a little business selling teas but felt she couldn’t because her husband wanted her to work a regular job. The look of longing was apparent on the face. She said thank you, and that was the last I spoke to June.
Why is hypnosis so powerful? Could it be that we spend our conscious lives burying our traumas? The distractions of social media, watching tv, partying, drugs, only happy thoughts? But, they say, when you are in deep hypnosis, your brain gives off Theta waves. The state where REM starts to kick in, ideas begin to flow, feelings and deeper emotions emerge freely — the dream state.
Days later, my neighbor told me that her niece wanted to thank me again, which helped her a lot. I was happy to hear that some good came out of that event on Thanksgiving, but I could not accept any thanks. I was only a guide taking her to meet a deeper part of herself. I believe that something in her wanted her to know something. Needed her to know something.
This was one of the last times I performed hypnosis until about a month ago from this posting (more on that another time). Still, I continued my path on getting my degree in psychology, but with more determination than ever to understand our minds. So, in the end, it is I who should be thanking June.
Randy is a poet and essayist. You may find additional works on Instagram and on TikTok @dolph.scribes. Please clap, follow, and share if you enjoy his work. Thank you for reading.
