Writing While on the Bipolar Coaster
Little Things That Have Helped Me Stay on Track…For Now
This is probably the fourth or fifth attempt at writing content for public consumption. Having bipolar disorder and writing consistently feels like I’m trying to build a house. At the same time, a monster pops up from hiding and tears it all down. I wallow in self-pity among the ruins thinking about the progress that went to waste. Still, a ray of sunshine strikes me on my forehead and inspires me to start again. I’ve come to terms with that this is how it is and try to work around the beast or use it to my advantage. So far, I’ve come up with this to stay on track.
I keep a planner
I have been using my planner to keep me focused on the goal. I’ve used the Clever Fox brand of planners in the past, but I have recently started using the Legend Planner. There’s nothing wrong with using a plain ol’ planner, but for me, using a “fancy” planner is perfect because it becomes a ritual and almost an art. I end up being more motivated to fill it out. The planner comes with little prompts for writing out your vision, goals, dreams, planning for your goals, a vision board, and so forth. I’m a sucker for this stuff and use it to my advantage. Having a planner has helped keep me focused and not wandering off into the wilderness aimlessly.
I meditate as regularly as I can.
If I learned anything the hard way, being healthy physically or mentally is a destination that does not exist. There’s no finish line for this kind of thing. I’ve been on this road for a while now, and when I think I’m there, I let loose, and it disappears. But, its work and staying as present as possible keep me from falling into the pit of self.
I had to be real with myself.
I’ve had to sit myself down like a child and explain that I can only focus on one thing for now. I know me; if I don’t do this, soon, I’ll be trying to take on writing, filmmaking, painting, sculpting, performing magic, creating comic books, learning to play guitar, starting stand-up comedy, and the list goes on. I’ve used my planner and only added tasks that pertained to writing and nothing else.
I set myself a small goal.
Write a paragraph in an hour today (you’re seeing it in action). That paragraph then turns into more paragraphs and then this list. The big test of self-control is that I stop before I get sick of it. I try not to get an ounce of “meh, this is mundane” in. Stopping while in the zone has me craving more.
It’s a short list for now as I am taking more time to understand myself and “be like water,” as the late, great Bruce Lee would say.
If you have bipolar disorder, borderline personality, ADHD, or any other flavor of mental disorder. I’d love to read about how you try to stay on track in writing.
